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Downsizing

Wick's dresser drawer

“I hired my neighbor to help me clean out our house. We ended up removing five pickup loads of stuff to Goodwill and the dump.”

I wish this was my quote. Rather, it came from some friends of ours and inspired us to begin ‘downsizing’ thirty-odd year’s worth of junk. Our friend’s husband also stated, “My wife hasn’t missed one item that she needed.”

Although our friends raved at the great job their neighbor had done in organizing their house, my wife and I both realized ours was a task that would have to be tackled in-house. Where do we begin this mammoth undertaking? I recommend starting at the family’s ‘junk drawer’ first. My wife needed a Philips screwdriver the other day and informed me that she had looked everywhere and couldn’t find one (including the junk drawer.) I quickly found two of them in my bedroom dresser drawer that could aptly be named junk drawer two. However, I realized our downsizing project had better get under way soon, for I was certain that several screwdrivers existed in the downstairs drawer she had so thoroughly searched. I went downstairs and took a look. A rapid glance told me she was correct. However, this thing was so full of junk that I thought I could have easily overlooked an item even as large as a screwdriver.

Ready to begin my downsizing project the following morning, it came to my attention that the family junk drawer was entirely empty. Sitting on the floor next to a kitchen cabinet was a large box full to the brim with assorted junk. My wife had obviously begun the project with one massive dumping. I started going through the items one by one and found it rather inefficient and time consuming. So I dumped the entire contents of the box on the kitchen counter and began sorting by category. Inevitably the number one item in a junk drawer consists of writing instruments (pens, pencils and magic markers.) I grouped the others into tools, rubber bands, paper clips, coins, candles, balloons, batteries and other odds and ends. Lo and behold, I came up with five Phillips head screwdrivers. It was amazing that this drawer was so full crap, that at first glance, neither my wife nor I were able to find even one.

Armed with a garbage can at my feet, I quickly got down to two piles; keepers and throwaways. Bolstered by the fact that this project took much less time to complete than I dreamed possible, I next looked at the big picture. How do I do this on a large scale and empty my entire household of unnecessary baggage? I started with the closets.

My wife always has a head start in her clothes closet. She has a rule that says, “If I haven’t worn the item in the past year, I get rid of it.” This is a very simple project for her as on each January 1st, she turns all of the clothes on hangers facing inward and after January 1st, she replaces every item she wears with the clothes hanger out. By the next January 1st, it becomes very easy to see which items are candidates for Goodwill.

While cleaning out a remote closet in the basement, we came up with a couple of interesting items; a half pack of Camel cigarettes and a rusted Bic lighter. We dated these items by their proximity to some other stuff and soon figured out which delinquent child had forgotten where their secret stash was. We carbon-monoxide dated them at approximately 15-17 years. As I held the lighter in my hand, I said to my wife, “Watch this.” I flicked the Bic and sure enough, it lit the very first time. We both refused to test the cigarettes.

Here are some general guidelines to follow as you are now probably highly inspired to begin your own downsizing project. If it has sentimental value only, dump it. If it ain’t an antique or heirloom, dump it. If it doesn’t fit around the waist, dump it. If it’s too old to eat, dump it. If it is not good enough to sell at a garage sale, dump it. In the case of baseball cards, save them for your kids. I sure wish I had kept my autographed Mickey Mantle (who stole my ink pen) and Yogi Berra cards.

Although we have a long way to go, there now is hope that, just maybe, we can match the five pickup loads worth of junk that our friends had removed from their lives; better yet, exceed it.

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Moose Lake Area Celebrate Recovery Open House

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